loss, family, friends, photo walks, cats and dogs
It seems odd to say 2023 was one of the better years for me recently, despite Mum passing on 1 March.
Realistically, I’d probably started mourning her loss in March 2018, when I believed that would be the last time I’d see her in person. It was a mixed blessing to have one more opportunity in October 2019. But I knew when I left Tasmania at the end of that visit that would be the last time.
By the time she passed, we hadn’t even been able to have Skype calls for about a year and a half. And our calls hadn’t involved actual conversation for a long time before that.
So, her passing was more of a continuation and perhaps the closing chapter of my mourning.
Don’t get me wrong: I still semi-regularly well up and have a good cry while thinking about her. But it’s not been as intense as it would have been without her prolonged descent into dementia and multiple false alarms to prepare me for the final eventuality.
We said our farewells, and Mum set off on her final journey on 18 June 2023, when Dad, Robert, Peter and I could finally be in one place.
An old friend, Dee, messaged me soon after to tell me the ocean currents may have taken her to New Zealand.
It was the first chance we had to be in one place as a family to say goodbye to Mum, but it was probably also the first time the four of us had been together since early 2007.
With family, loss and the passing of time on my mind, I predominantly spent my month in Australia catching up with family, especially those I hadn’t seen in far too long.
My uncle, John, is one member of my extended family I’ve managed to see on all of my visits since leaving Australia in January 2011. But I enjoyed spending another few days of quality time with him, talking about family and family history, debating politics and catching up with his partner, Verna. And I managed to set him up on WhatsApp so I can call him regularly at no cost.
My Mum’s side of the family has been harder to catch up with over the years, mainly due to geography. For most of my childhood and teens, they lived in Calgary. And when they returned to Australia, they settled in Perth.
I met Rhys (pictured at left, taking the group selfie) when I was about 11, but I didn’t meet my other cousin, his twin, David (centre back), until Rhys’ wedding about ten years later, in 1998.
I’m ashamed to say that was the last time I’d seen Rhys and my uncle, Graham, until this year. Although, I stayed with my aunt, Patricia, in 2002, when I returned to Australia after my first stint of living in the UK and caught up with David then. Christopher (back right) wasn’t yet born.
So, it was lovely to spend a couple of days getting to know Rhys better while he played tour guide, to spend a few days with his family, and to spend an evening with Mum’s family.
I would have liked to have spent more time with them, but I had so much to cram into just a month. Hopefully, I’ll be able to spend more time next time.
And I caught up with Rhys, his wife, Jenny, and their daughter, Georgia, for an evening when they were in London a few months later.
In addition to spending time with family, I was pleased to catch up with my first-ever best friend, Narelle, for the first time in around 39 years. And to spend time with Lisa and Sarah.
It was a pleasure, as always, to spend time talking and dining with Victoria while I was in Tasmania, including a rain-sodden wander on West Ulverstone Beach.
We wandered around the Tasmanian Arboretum with Cheryl after scattering Mum’s ashes; just what I needed.
I did spy a platypus and took some photos, but they may need quite a lot of enlargement to confirm that!
I took many photos of Perth in the glorious weather as Rhys played tour guide.
Here’s one of a frilled neck lizard sculpture in the Mindeerup section of south Perth, part of Karl Kep Ngoornd-iny (Fire and Water Dreaming) by Yondee Shane Hansen.
In addition to my family, who offered up beds and couches to me during my stay, I want to thank everyone who could make the time to catch up during my (relatively) short time in Melbourne.
It was lovely to catch up with Jess, Preethi and Feih for drinks one night. Ian, David, Pete and Corey the next night. Brunch with Richard and his daughter, Sienna, dinners with David and Anthony, and a pint and chips with Jason.
(I hope I haven’t forgotten anyone!)
Special thanks to Amy and Chris for shuttling me and Richard to Springvale Botanical Cemetery to visit Anthony Horan’s grave and to Richard for the engaging natter on the train (and apologies for getting us on the wrong train!)
Usually, my visits to cemeteries are for purely photographic purposes. But this year, I found myself in cemeteries to visit friends.
That’s how I came to be in Brookwood Cemetery, the largest cemetery in the UK. It used to have its own dedicated railway, including first-class carriages for the dead, running direct from the London Necropolis Railway Station in Waterloo.
The same station still serves it. But now it’s just the living commuting by train from the main Waterloo Station.
(I knew about the cemetery and the railway well before my visit because of Catharine Arnold’s book, Necropolis: London and its Dead, which I read many years ago. I’ll return for a more leisurely photo walk in future).
I did, of course, also visit cemeteries for purely photographic purposes.
In chronological order, I wandered the following cemeteries:
Plaistow Cemetery in Bromley (on my birthday)
Brockley Cemetery (part of Brockley and Ladywell Cemeteries)
Ladywell Cemetery (part of Brockley and Ladywell Cemeteries)
London Road Cemetery in Bromley
Paines Lane Cemetery in Pinner
Pinner New Cemetery (probably the worst maintained cemetery I’ve come across, and I include those maintained within the concept of ‘managed neglect’ in that comparison)
And Hither Green Cemetery, which I’ll have to revisit in 2024, as I arrived about 15 minutes before they closed for the day.
All this talk of death and loss may have you concerned. Never fear: there’s life in the old girl yet.
I didn’t travel as far afield as I’d hoped this year, but I did spend a day wandering Birmingham, its canals, and marvelling at the city’s Spaghetti Junction with fellow photographer Phil Ivens one Sunday.
I spent a lovely weekend with my distant cousins in Uxbridge, including a day in Henley-on-Thames.
And Hambleden.
Once again, it was lovely to spend time with family members I don’t see often enough (though there’s less excuse with these guys as, apart from Malcolm, we live in the same city, albeit on almost opposite sides!)
And in November, Scott joined me for the next stretch from Palmers Green to Enfield.
And, on Boxing Day, I took what I thought was a scenic shortcut through Grove Park Nature Reserve, aiming for Hither Green Cemetery, only to find the footbridge as part of the Railway Children Walk was closed for maintenance.
And now, the part of my annual wrap-up you’ve all been waiting for (drum roll).
Here’s the roll call of the new kittehs (and doggos!) I sat this year.
I sat 17 cats, 11 of which were new clients (though two were new kittehs for existing human clients).
I sat three doggos, all new clients and all lovely beasties. Unfortunately, Dougal (pictured above) has now crossed the Rainbow Bridge, passing around the day I left for Australia.
I sat ten fish, four of which were new clients. Six have now gone to fish heaven (only one on my watch, purloined from its pond by a cat or a fox).
Jilly arrived in Bounds Green as Lottie’s successor.
Oscar joined my three regulars in Bromley.
Frank, who loves to cuddle (which is a good thing, as he’s so smooshable!)
Pebbles, an old soul.
Treacle, who is as sweet as…
Milo loves a good game of tug-o-war.
Mango can be entertained on a shoestring (literally) and loves a lap.
I visited her four times over three days in the summer. She knew exactly when I was about to leave and when to curl up cutely on my lap.
Bobby with his “come hither and rub my belly” gaze.
Cino, Bobby’s less aloof brother.
These two were hilarious to listen to when they chatted while they played with their toys.
Bobby and Cino had some fishy friends (two of the three pictured).
George, a cheeky tabby who lives next door to my regulars.
And Lottie, George’s housemate.
I visited these two thrice daily one weekend while sitting my regulars.
And my newest and youngest clients, at 14 weeks, David.
And Stevie.
I slept in someone else’s bed for 160 nights this year (no, not like that).
Between pet-sitting, a weekend visit with my cousins, and my visit to Australia, I was away from home almost 44% of this year!
I loved it, but I will admit I missed my bed, iMac and my own room (though not the scaffolding surrounding our flat for about six months).
The coming year looks quite busy already, but it will be interesting to see whether it will be more or less busy than this year. I already have four new doggo and two new kitteh clients scheduled over the summer.
Before I wish you all a happy new year and the best of everything for 2024, I want to thank all my friends and family who have been there for me during 2023 when I really needed it (and, in many cases, every year before that).
I hope I have been and/or will be there for you when you need it.
Love to you all for 2024 xx
5 weeks
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 28 December 2023].
sunshine on wreath
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 24 December 2023].
tumbledown tree
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 20 December 2023].
a single perfect snowflake
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 17 December 2023].
a cluster of lovely memories, a smile for all
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 15 December 2023].
peace wreath
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 10 December 2023].
of red bows and holly
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 7 December 2023].
santa's potting shed
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 5 December 2023].
all that glitters is not gold
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 1 December 2023].
never a dull moment
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 27 November 2023].
a bird in the hand
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 21 November 2023].
i only want to be with you
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 13 November 2023].
also perpetuating
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 7 November 2023].
happy birthday, anthony
This year's visit to Australia was predominantly about family and officially saying goodbye to Mum.
But alongside that and reuniting with some wonderful friends, I also had the chance to (officially) say goodbye to one of my oldest friends, Anthony Horan.
My thanks go out to Anthony's brother, Chris, and mutual longtime friends, Amy and Richard, for accompanying me and making the visit possible.
It was lovely to finally meet Chris and reunite with Amy and Richard after so long.
It was a sombre visit. Rain threatened. There was much mud on the 'lawn'.
But there was also cheeky humour amongst us, in keeping with the sort of comments and jokes Anthony would have made if he'd been able to reply to us as we stood by the grave his ashes share with his father's remains.
When I visited, there was a temporary marker for Anthony and his dad. I'm sure when I visit next it will look different (if it doesn't already).
I've been catching up on sharing iPhone photos from my trip on Instagram, and this morning, I reached my photos from that day. I thought I would share them on the second anniversary of his passing in January, oblivious to the date.
But, when I remembered later in the day it was his birthday in Australia, it was obvious today was the day to share.
It's currently his birthday in Melbourne and London.
So, the penguins and I are raising a toast to an old friend.
Love and miss you, Anthony. Always. xx
shot through the heart
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 27 October 2023].
like water for chocolate
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 16 October 2023].
uplifting angels
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 10 July 2023].
life is a jest
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 2 June 2023].
I usually steer clear of including identifying details in my photographs of headstones if they are of those more recently deceased. I may take a photo of the grave in full but not share it.
In most instances, it feels respectful, especially with the possibility that a family member or friend might happen across my photographs and perhaps take offence at them or my often puntastic titles.
But, as a fellow hedonist, I feel Julia Nunn may appreciate her grave being seen further afield after her passing. Though I can't find anything online that I can confirm is about this particular Julia Nunn to share with you.
Her epitaph initially caught my eye, but the quote on her grave from English poet and dramatist John Gay drew me further in.
I didn't know anything about him until researching the quote tonight. The phrase - his own words - is inscribed on a monument to him in Westminster Abbey.