[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 20 March 2022].
pietà
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 8 March 2022].
sunflowers
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 5 March 2022].
keeping my hand above water
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 22 February 2022].
I looked online, but I can't find which artist created this sculpture I photographed at the Memorial Museum Passchendaele 1917 in Zonnebeke in 2014.
I will look again, but if you know/can point me in the right direction, I'll be happy to credit them.
on cloud nine
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 30 January 2022].
Here's the first collage from a series that came into my mind while I was completing cut out and keep; my 100 Days Project for 2020.
I'll explain my thinking behind the idea more as I go along because this particular one doesn't best illustrate my concept for sapphic studies.
But it's an opener to the series.
Painting:
Le Sommeil (Sleep) by Gustave Courbet
bosham ices
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 16 February 2022].
the only way is up
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 30 January 2022].
new lighthouse [dungeness]
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 28 December 2021].
living on bridlington time
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 21 December 2021].
a week in wales
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 3 November 2021].
Speeding toward Wales, I watched the English countryside fly by the train window. It occurred to me then it would be my first visit without my mother to the country of many of her ancestors.
My third visit to Wales also had interesting numerological synchronicity. My first visit had been part of a 'round the world' trip with my family around Christmas 1991. My second visit was in 2001 with my parents and my then-boyfriend. And I was taking this journey in 2021. I trust that number pattern won't repeat itself, leading to me not returning to Wales until 2061!
On top of those realisations, it occurred to me it was just a little more than two years since I'd last left England. Though this time, I was only going across the border into Wales. Rather than through the air, over land and sea to Australia.
So, to say high expectations were hanging over the trip might have been an understatement. There was a lot of anticipation and excitement about what the week may hold.
After a week of kitteh hijinks with Bao and Paczi, there was also a yearning for a low-stress week. One that would allow me to concentrate on things other than kittehs while still enjoying kitteh snuggles and pets.
Despite taking about five hours to travel each way due to train delays and a wait for a cab from Wrexham to Minera, the week and Wales definitely delivered.
As well as being able to complete various life admin tasks ahead of my new flatmate moving in and enjoying many, many kitteh snuggles, Minera proved to be a much-needed change of pace and very picturesque.
Though there was drizzle for at least part of most days. And though there were a couple of days of gusty winds. And temperatures were in the low teens most days. The weather really turned it on for me on Monday.
Once the morning drizzle stopped, it left the landscape and details super-saturated in colour. The beautiful post-rain light across the countryside and across headstones was lovely.
I'm excited to share photos from this trip with you - as I am those from my recent trip to Chichester - as I really enjoyed the mixture of subjects: village life; natural landscapes; manmade incursions into the landscape; derelict buildings; industrial sites being reclaimed by nature and the beautiful graves in St Mary's churchyard.
As I wrote in a post to Instagram a short time into my wanderings around the churchyard that day, "Honestly, if every week started like this, I'd be content". Exploring new places (including their graveyards and churchyards), taking photographs, marvelling at (all kinds of) beauty in the world, and knowing at the end of the day there would be a cold pint of cider and the company of some charming creatures to finish up with.
The 5.5-hour walk was challenging for me in parts (muddy, leaf-strewn paths up and down inclines that made me a little nervous) and left me bone-tired afterwards, but in the best possible way.
I generally love being a woman. The only downside is the trepidation of walking solo off the beaten track while carrying expensive camera gear. Wanting to explore further but thinking perhaps that may not be a sensible course to take. Thankfully, I was able to put aside most of those thoughts that day. Though I didn't venture as far into the Minera Quarry Nature Reserve as I would have, had I not been alone.
When not second-guessing my decisions, as I ventured up hill and down dale, I was able to get lost in the moment and in my own thoughts, which was also something sorely needed. Cathartic and cleansing.
My thanks to Jo, Becky, Meg and Mog for presenting me with the opportunity to get back to Wales after too long.
september reflections
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 6 October 2021].
It's been a very mixed three to four weeks.
About a month ago, I predicted September would be a month of impermanence. At the time, I thought that due to being temporarily in residence with two kittehs on the other side of town.
Instead, it ended up feeling more like a month of constant minor upheavals.
On only my second full day in Shepherd's Bush, I had to return to my own flat to meet a fellow assessing maintenance to be done. Later in the month, I had to return two days in a row to be around while the maintenance was completed.
I was generally okay with this, as it was expected, and I knew I'd have to pop back once or twice a week to water my plants anyway.
However, when I relocated to be a live-in cat nanny, I was relieved I wouldn't have to schlep back and forth across town for flat viewings, after all. I believed I had a lovely new flatmate lined up to move in the day after I returned from Shepherd's Bush and could concentrate my time in the West on photography, cats and client work.
Unfortunately, by the fifth full day, it became apparent that my potential flatmate had gone AWOL midway through the referencing process. So I was unexpectedly thrown back into advertising the room and arranging viewings - with three viewings taking place on two days shortly after.
Between the various visits for maintenance and potential flatmate viewings, there was also a long weekend jaunt down to meet Phil in Chichester. Our trip had been planned months before the cat-sitting gig landed in my lap.
My first actual holiday since returning from Australia in November 2019, I had hoped it would be a chance to escape reality. A long weekend of sightseeing, photography and good conversation.
While it was full of sightseeing, photography and good conversation, I wasn't really able to relax and escape reality. Not with all the other things constantly throwing my days into turmoil and minor upheaval on either side of the trip.
Throw in a health scare with my Dad, and September was stressful and exhausting in many ways.
At the other extreme, September had some quite enjoyable moments:
Spending an afternoon entertaining good friends in an actual house and getting to show them all the quirks of my temporary abode.
Spending time and having engaging conversations with the chatty kittehs. They were the perfect distraction when I needed it most during my stay (and the rest of the time).
Having my friend Don just around the corner for late-night rambling chats in person as well as by phone, and even getting to visit his 'bat cave' finally.
Having the chance to explore Chichester, Bosham (pronounced Bozzum), Itchenor (captured above) and Arundel with Phil and our cameras.
Being inspired by art exhibitions and long conversations about art, writing, travel and life.
As previous posts illustrate, I also managed to take my first "proper" self-portraits since June 2018.
Unfortunately, with the aforementioned minor upheavals and other commitments, I didn't have much time. Not nearly enough time to explore the many set-ups and ideas I'd had whirling around my mind before relocating and while I was in situ.
I was also limited by practical issues. Such as the multitude of outfits I had to hand not fitting and not having enough cash to hit up the local charity shops for alternatives.
I was also disappointed not to have had more time to explore the other creative ideas I'd planned to indulge in: collage (physical and digital), sketching, writing, reading, letter-writing, as well as poring over the vast collection of books bursting out of the shelves promising further inspiration.
An actual residency without other concurrent commitments and distractions would have given me more time and freedom. The time and opportunity to indulge my numerous creative ideas and take better advantage of all the quirks the house and its surroundings offer. And even manage some time to relax and fully enjoy the house as well.
Perhaps sometime, the kittehs will have me back for a period of uninterrupted creativity when I better fit into my clothes and my own skin.
For now, though, I already have another kitteh-sitting gig in south London lined up for a week later in the month. I'm not guaranteeing I'll produce self-portraits during my stay there. But it will give me a chance to explore a new (to me) area of London with my camera and befriend some more cute kittehs.
cataract gorge
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 31 August 2021].
windmills of your mind
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 28 June 2021].
Round like a circle in a spiral, like a wheel within a wheel
Never-ending or beginning on an ever spinning reel
Like a snowball down a mountain, or a carnival balloon
Like a carousel that's turning running rings around the moon
Like a clock whose hands are sweeping past the minutes of its face
And the world is like an apple whirling silently in space
Like the circles that you find in the windmills of your mind!
Like a tunnel that you follow to a tunnel of its own
Down a hollow to a cavern where the sun has never shone
Like a door that keeps revolving in a half-forgotten dream
Or the ripples from a pebble someone tosses in a stream
Like a clock whose hands are sweeping past the minutes of its face
And the world is like an apple whirling silently in space
Like the circles that you find in the windmills of your mind!
Keys that jingle in your pocket, words that jangle in your head
Why did summer go so quickly, was it something that you said?
Lovers walking along a shore and leave their footprints in the sand
Is the sound of distant drumming just the fingers of your hand?
Pictures hanging in a hallway and the fragment of a song
Half remembered names and faces, but to whom do they belong?
When you knew that it was over you were suddenly aware
That the autumn leaves were turning to the colour of her hair!
Like a circle in a spiral, like a wheel within a wheel
Never-ending or beginning on an ever spinning reel
As the images unwind, like the circles that you find
In the windmills of your mind!
- Marilyn Bergman / Michel Legrand / Alan Bergman
Original recording by Noel Harrison
A more irreverent version from The Muppet Show. This was probably where I first heard the song and why I always think it speeds up when the original doesn't.
untitled #51
[I originally posted this image as early access for my Patreon patrons on 24 June 2021].
toni's ices
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 22 June 2021].
I'm looking forward to the prospect of day trips out of the city with friends this summer.
The last one with friends as a collective in the UK was to visit Cambridge in 2018.
I took this photograph in Cambridge, but it was during a road trip with Mum and Dad on their last visit to the UK in 2017.
It was definitely my Mum's last international trip but, hopefully, Dad can come back to the UK sometime soon.
That trip was stressful and emotional as it was the first time the development of Mum's dementia was unmistakable. Previous travels with my parents had been stressful and emotional, but for other reasons.
But it was still enjoyable for the places I could visit or revisit and the time spent with my parents in the calmer moments. And, obviously, the photographic opportunities.
Where are you looking forward to spending your days out this summer? Answers on a postcard ;)
catford centre
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 17 June 2021].
I don't know about you, but I needed something visually irreverent today.
I captured this fella while out shopping for furnishings with Sophie in August 2018.
I discovered some charity shop gems that day like these chairs and Manchester City Mary. But my current furnished abode is already overstuffed with furniture and prints, so I settled for capturing them with my iPhone rather than purchasing them.
Having had dogs as family pets from about four years old, I've always been a dog person rather than a cat person. I used to really dislike cats.
There are still some aspects that make me question if I could ever live with one full time.
And I still love dogs and squee every time I see a "Quincy" (miniature schnauzer) or an "Elvie" (wire-haired fox terrier) when out and about.
But I grew to appreciate cats more over the past couple of years.
I think, in the end, I've come to understand that I'm an "animal person". I'm not exclusively a "dog person", and I'm no longer "absolutely not" a "cat person".
I just wish relationships with other humans were as uncomplicated and unconditional as with pets.
I miss having a dog companion to sense your sadness and push it away with their cold, wet nose, silly wagging tail and sloppy kisses.
A canine friend to share your excitement and happiness. To dance on hind legs with you.
A snuggly pup who can curl into your body on the couch or on the bed, and you know all they want is to love and be loved in return. And maybe some belly scratches.
And as long as you can give them that (and food and exercise), you're good enough. You're their everything. No matter how complicated or messy that everything might be.
I'm still not sure felines have that down pat yet.
untitled #204
[I originally posted this image as early access for my Patreon patrons on 2 June 2021].
untitled #174
[I originally posted this image as early access for my Patreon patrons on 26 May 2021].
wall of remembrance
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 16 May 2021].
The part of me that loves a good play on words and adores puntastic titles wanted to call this deadman's curve.
The sombre respectful part of me felt I probably shouldn't. So I didn't.
Though some drivers in this cemetery, two days after Christmas last year, did drive in a way that made me worry for pedestrians wandering along the roads between the sections...
a cunning linguist
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 12 May 2021].
I'm thankful for the critical thinking and media literacy training I gained in high school.
Being the age I am, I can't thank my schooling for my digital literacy. The internet became "a thing" after I finished high school.
This is a perfect example of where I might have ended up looking like a fool if I'd believed the first link I found online.
Not that the internet was trying to mislead me, but it would have led me to provide at least a title or caption that would have been factually incorrect.
Instead, I thankfully learned more about and wrote more about this fellow, which (as I might have mentioned before) is one of the reasons I love photography.
If you Google "szarvas gabor" - as I did - the first result that appears is a Wikipedia entry for a Hungarian middleweight weightlifter. And while he may be worthy of a statue - I don't know - I mentally questioned whether this was the depiction of a weightlifter, looking at how he was presented.
If the man in this statue was a sportsman, it seemed much more likely he was a toreador (despite being Hungarian) than a weightlifter.
Even ignoring the slightness of the bust, you would imagine a weightlifter would be commemorated in some sort of full-length statue showing off his physique? Or, at least, shirtless displaying his pecs? And um, maybe it shouldn't be armless if he's a weightlifter? Or is that just me?
Thankfully, I didn't take Google's first search result as gospel.
In a new browser tab, I Googled "szarvas gabor statue". A Trip Advisor entry signposted me to another fellow who happened to have the same name.
I returned to my original search results and clicked the next link.
Though in Hungarian, Chrome's translation option (and photos on the page) allowed me to confirm this was the Szarvas Gábor I was seeking.
It did, however, poorly translate the first sentence of the entry to tell me he was not only a linguist but the creator of Hungarian agriculture. Not having been born until 1832, I found that slightly questionable...
It turns out the translation should read "a linguist, the creator of Hungarian language education", which makes far more sense.
The translation of the Wikipedia entry also tells me "he published humorous writings under the pseudonym Pap Rika" and paints him a little like a grammar nazi.
He sounds like my kinda guy!
Even if (or especially because) he's well-known enough for a statue but not enough to be the first result in a Google search.
You win some, you lose some, eh?